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Pet Peeves of An Author by Marlon McCaulsky


1. When you meet me and learn that I am author, do not ask me to write your life's story. If I wanted to write an autobiography, I would have written my own by now. And your life really might not be as interesting as you think.

2. Don't see my books and then expect me to help you write a book when you ain't never even thought about being an author. This isn't something I "tried." Its my passion.

(For Example: I can't rap so I don't ask people who can to rap about me.)

3. I really don't care what you dislike about my writing, unless its constructive criticism, I don't care if you, one particular person, did not like how Character A sounded, if you wanted Characters A and B to work it out, they didn't and now you mad. Shit happens.

4. I'm a storyteller. A creative writer. So if the masses are writing thug books, or titles with names, or side bitches, or sexy drug dealers, Dope boys in the hood with million's and the supermodel hood chicks who wear nothing but designer brand names who love them... I'm not gonna follow that trend. Listen, I like science fiction, I like action, I like romance, I like comic books. So if I feel inspired to write about it, I will. We all can't write about the same thing all the time.

5. Yeah I'm Black... So a lot of my characters happen to be black but not all of them. Funny, I didn't hear you asking Steven King, J.K. Rowling, or E.L. James the same question.

6. I like sex. And so do my characters. If you don't like sex, perhaps you shouldn't read my books.

7. I might make you a character in my book if I find you interesting enough. But don't ask me to be a character in my book.

8. If you feel like my book was too short. I don't write fluff. Or 75 unnecessary pages of a subplot that has nothing to do with the main storyline. Or go into detail about the Intercity pattern on the wall.

9. I welcome Constructive criticism, but keyboard thugging will get you cussed out and blocked.

10. Stop asking for a free copy of my new book, I will not GIVE you a book. Unless I'm doing a giveaway. Support a brother! Buy the damn book. ridiculous.

11. Stop saying "I don't read." It make our ancestors palm their foreheads in disgust. You look very stupid saying that. Unless you're really illiterate... In that case there's a few programs you should sign up for. Seriously.

12. Its ridiculous to give a book a bad review because you didn't like a character. If I wrote that character so well that you actually hate her in real life, I brought real emotions out of you with my writing. #JobWellDone

13. Stop asking me when I'm gonna put a new book out. Do you know how long it took me to write the last book you read in two hours? I'm not rushing a book out so it can be called crap because it wasn't as good as the last one. Be patient, it's coming.

14. Leaving reviews that say, "I hated it. Didn't get past the first chapter," makes you look stupid, not my story look bad.

AMENDMENT FOR AUTHORS

1. Don't put on your book covers "Best Selling Author" unless you really are. And ebooks on Amazon bestsellers list don't count.

I'm not super famous but I love what I do. It's a shame that many people won't spend money on books anymore. They'll support lame rappers and the most unhealthy foods and beauty tricks but won't support an author that they know. 💯

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