Since radio stations decided to pull “Baby it’s Cold Outside” from its playlist because someone was offended, I feel that these other holiday songs must also be removed as they are offensive as well. Do so immediately.
1. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: subjecting minors to softcore porn.
2. The Christmas Song: Open fire? Pollution. Folks dressed up like Eskimos? Cultural appropriation.
3. Holly Jolly Christmas: Kiss her once for me? Unwanted advances.
4. White Christmas? Racist.
5. Santa Claus is Coming to Town: Sees you when you’re sleeping? Knows when you’re awake? Peeping Tom stalker.
6. Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Everyone telling you be of good cheer? Forced to hide depression.
7. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Bullying.
8. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas: Forced gender-specific gifts: dolls for Janice and Jen and boots and pistols (GUNS!) for Barney and Ben.
9. Santa Baby: Gold digger, blackmail.
10. Frosty the Snowman: Sexist; not a snow woman.
11. Do You Hear What I Hear: blatant disregard for the hearing impaired.
12. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: Make the yuletide GAY? Wow, just wow.
13. Jingle Bell Rock: Giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet: animal abuse.
14. Mistletoe and Holly: Overeating, folks stealing a kiss or two? How did this song ever see the light of day?
15. Winter Wonderland: Parson Brown demanding they get married… forced partnership
See how ridiculous everything can be twisted? Everyone gets so offended these days that it is impossible to even communicate anymore. We as a society can’t have any music, interact with others, build anything, believe in anything because someone else will be offended. Just stop the madness.